Review Of 2009

Here we are then. Another year over and 2010 is edging closer like that paedophile in my garden. 2009 has bought us some fantastic new celebrities, but also some rather odd storylines!

              January & February

• Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer broke up. Obviously not the end of the world because he looks like a tin of tuna and to be perfectly honest he probably smells like it to.
• Those two from Mamma Mia hooked up, you know the one from Mean Girls and the annoying British one. As much as I liked Mamma Mia, the British one really did ruin it. All he did was run around in flippers. Good work Cooper!
• Jessica Simpson got fat.
• NASA saw her from space.
• Robert Webb did that disturbing spandex dance from Flashdance. I was sick everywhere.
• But the biggest story of these months has to be Rihanna and Chris Brown. The whole head to the dashboard treatment. I can see it now, pictures of Rihanna naked fly onto the windscreen, they swerve, Chris gets angry and BAM! head right into the dashboard. That car is now being auctioned off described as “With an authentic Rihanna face mask.” Well someone has to make some money out of it!

The star of these two months has got to be Alexandra Burke! She won the X Factor and this year just set the ball rolling! She was an amazing singer on the X Factor, then Beyonce came on and she practically shat herself, but these things happen. She has taken winning in her stride and not let her go to her head! Bravo Alex! Look forward to album no. 2!

              

             March & April

• Kerry Krakona and Mark Croft were off after she announced he had taken all her money and she was divorcing him. This lasted all of two days, as they reunited for a chinese take away and an Iceland shopping trip
• Paris Hilton landed herself a loaded star! Doug Reinhardt has a lot of money apparently! They also say ‘like’ a lot I would imagine!
• Jade Goody lost her cancer battle. As the jokes came flooding in, I felt genuinely sorry for Jade, the boys, her mum and oh her granddad. If you watched her programme you would understand just how adorable he is. He can’t remember much and just babbles. I think there is only one quote, well maybe two, that can sum up Jade. Stephen Fry called her “the Princess Diana from the wrong side of the tracks”, and they fact that she asked where “East Angular” was. As much as I loved Jade, she did ruin the Kebab.
• This was when Katie went out partying until 6AM on Mother’s day. So. Good for her. Like her kids actually care.
• Horse face and ‘I act like this to make my penis seem bigger’ from The Apprentice started doing it. Yep Kate Walsh & Phil Taylor were banging away. Noiceee.

The star of March & April goes to the lovely Su Bo. That amazing singing voice and that gut wrenching accent. The moustache just makes me want to lap her up. If anyone speaks to her before I do, tell her I want my curtains back, and I do NOT appreciate them being made into a dress.

 

               May & June

• The two from Slumdog Millionaire got it on.
• Kerry Krakona got fat and I mean like beer belly fat. Bless her. Too many chicken platters from Iceland I think!
• David Beckham did that massive Emporio Armani underwear add. Thanks for sharing Becks!
• Michael Jackson died. I did not like Michael Jackson. He had done nothing against me, but he just annoyed me. And then when he died, everyone suddenly liked him. GET OUT. The memorial service was nice though. I watch most of it, but that was the day we had a lot of rain and there was very loud thunder so he kind of get ignored while I looked out my bedroom window.
• But obviously story of the months was Katie and Peter breaking up. I got like 70 texts telling me. As if I didn’t already know. Seriously guys! I practically shit out what is written in heat! and on heatworld, so why you thought I wouldn’t already know is beyond me.

Star of the months has got to be Amanda Holden! She blossomed throughout this years series of Britain’s Got Talent and started to become loved by the British public. She did the shoot for heat! when she talked about her botox, surgery and took photos without her make-up. Now that is what I call a star. Love you Manda

 

               July & August

• Steve Jones & Hayden Panettiere got it on. Imagine their babies
• Fern left This Morning. She was fit. That was a joke. 100% joke! It was very sad, and they were all drunk by about 10:37. Good on you fatty!
• R-Pattz bangs Kristen up against a wall. That didn’t actually happen, but they did do it. I bet Lautner joined in aswell.
• Krakona’s nose caved in. All that sniffing of Iceland food. Crack ridden I swear.
• Pictures of the Price and Alex Reid walking around naked, taking pictures on the balcony and doing it in every possible place. Get yours
• Oh and Kate Moss started to look, unfortunately, like Gillian Taylforth. Oh dear.

Star of July & August has got to go to Pixie Lott! That amazing album and singing voice, but OH MY her dress sense! She practically shits on the fashionistas of this world!

 

              September & October

• Robbie returns. Don’t really like him, but good for him.
• Cheryl Cole did that X Factor performance. There was that whole hoo ha as to whether she was going to sing live or not and that it was hypocritical if she didn’t. Who cares. She is sooo adorable. I want her to be my best friend The performance was average, but she got that number one. Only one low point. WTF is with those trousers??? TKMaxx? Probs.
• Arlene got fired and Alesha ’amazing’ Dixon got her place on the Strictly judging panel. She got a lot of stick, but she hit back and has for defs come out on top!
• Leona ‘unhappy’ Lewis got attacked. As lovely as she is, she does sing some depressing songs. I like them, but give us some hope that you have had something good happen to you! She still didn’t deserve that though!
• Steven Gately and Patrick Swayze snuffed it. Sad times.
• Ahhh, Katy Perry and Russell Brand have regular Nookie
• BIGGEST story was that slag Taylor Swift got humiliated by Kanye West at the VMAs. To be honest, Beyonce probably did deserve the award, but there was no need for that Kanye. The worst but is that Taylor thinks she is amazing now. You aren’t. You are boring.

Dannii Minogue scoops up star of the months with that amazing X Factor year. She has definitely had the most radical makeover of the year and she owned this year’s series of X Factor!

 

              November & December

• Katie hits the jungle and, I think showed that she is actually a normal person, and doesn’t have a frozen heart. She is like a Strepsil, hard on the outside, but quite soft and gooey on the inside. I would blame the curry. She left after she was voted to do like 7000 trials and when she left, she dumped Alex Reid! Boy did I lol! She shouldn’t have said ‘closure’ as much though.
• Kate Moss made that fantastic statement; “Nothing tastes better than skinny feels!” HAHA. This was quote of the year!
• Joe won the X Factor. Well done, but did you see Stacey. No one knows what she said but she was adorable wasn’t she
• Christine Bleakley & Frank Lampard got together. That is cute.
• Ricky Whittle and Carley Stenson ended it. His big penis was hurting her.

Stars of November & December has got to be the cast of Eastenders! Fantastic storylines and acting all lead up to that Christmas Day climax. Well done. My Nan called Peggy Mitchell the ‘Poison Dwarf’. Made the episode to be honest. Well done Eastenders!

 

 

I hope that this has made you laugh and you occasionally went ‘Oh yeah! I forgot about that!’ Stick around for the awards!

[Via http://wanostrocht.wordpress.com]

Gen-X as a Uranus/Pluto Metaphor...

Thomas Paine was quoted as saying, “People are more like their generation than they are like their family.” He would say that being an Aquarian. Astrologers have often undermined the importance of the outer planets in astrology but I have found them to be amazingly important in the psychology, physiology and general fate of those born under the influences of generational planets. I’ve even seen physical traits that seem to defy logic among generations. There is a certain look to those with Pluto in Leo, Neptune in Libra (the Boomers) and to those who came before them. And certainly every subsequent generation. It’s not just the way they dress, it’s the way they carry themselves and even their features seem often to reflect a subtle hint of the outer planets influence.

In the 1960s just the transiting conjunction of Uranus and Pluto was enough to cause the sexual revolution, war and the vehement anti-war movement, civil unrest and the health food movement (the transit planets were both in Virgo) and also the decline in wages leading to the death of the American dream. It  also coincided with a huge drop in the population (due to the advent of the pill and other things). Those who are commonly referred to Gen-X’ers are the smallest in number around the world.

My definition of Gen-X is astrological and goes from about 1956/57 until 1969/1970. These people have in common Neptune in Scorpio (thus the obsession with the occult, often unusual sexual proclivities and all things hidden, secret or occult) and Pluto in Virgo which brings with it a desire to be of service, interest in health, healthy living, alternative medicine, natural foods, and unfortunately also brought us lower wages on the whole, and perpetual financial problems. Many of us have had to change careers many times over (Virgo is a mutable sign ruled by Mercury) which has made it imperative to change in order to survive.

The super ultra extra generation X-ers are those born with Uranus in Virgo conjunct Pluto in Virgo. That configuration started around 1962 and ended around 1968. These people are rebellious by nature, challenging, bright and often visionary. Kurt Cobain was born 2 weeks after me the same year, we shared a grand water trine, Uranus and Pluto conjunction in Virgo making a kite off of it. He however was not as lucky as I. He had far too many planets in water. My husband reminded me that I once looked at his chart and said it looked like he was an elemental. And indeed the poor guy had no fire (like me) but was deluged by water. He had twice the water I do and no air to distance himself from his emotions. Anyone who had that chart would eventually kill themselves, he was just too sensitive and too emotional. Life was pain for him. Many of the most innovative musical artists (popular in the 1990s) had this configuration as this configuration often shakes up things. And for sure this group shook the music industry to its core, it still hasn’t recovered but that’s another story… if only they would have embraced the Pluto energy, the change and the Uranian innovation they would have figured out what Itunes did and they would be flourishing like never before but instead they resisted, trying to be conservative and killed what people loved about the art and destroyed their own business in the process by resisting new technology. Often people with Uranus/Pluto conjunct will enter into a situation right before it’s about to implode or explode and become a catalyst for this change. And of course the more the person resonates the energy of that configuration the greater their effect is on those around them.

Obama is on the outskirts of the Gen-X’er generation. He doesn’t have the radical idealism embodied by those born between 1962 and 1969. He has the practical idealism of Pluto in Virgo. He believes he can work things out rationally. However he fails to see that while one would hope the world capable of rational thought and measured intelligence, as George Bush showed us, this is not always in the genes or the generation. Pluto in Leo people (who make up the vast majority of politicians) are very emotional almost vitriolic and/or zealot-like about their ideology, of course until it changes and then they intensely defend their new world view with the same passion often using their old life as an example of why their new life is so right on. I could name a thousand celebrity examples of this, but the first one that pops to mind is “Dr.” Laura Schelssinger (she’s not actually psychologist as many assume she actually has a degree in physiology which would make her qualified to be a coach, PE professor/teacher or give her good background to be a physical therapist: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laura_Schlessinger .) All that aside, she rails on about the evils of divorce, oh yeah, she’s is a divorcee’, about the evils of adulterous affairs, that too she is supposedly guilty of and a host of other things which she vehemently chastises her callers for admitting without ever showing her own vulnerability. This quality in various forms can be seen in the Pluto in Leo generation often to good effect. They can throw themselves into things and truly effect change like nobodies business because they believe so strongly in their ideas and the Leo pride and arrogance allows them to do so without question. However the Achilles heel (for those who live in the shadow side like Dr. Laura) is intense, disgusting and ridiculous hypocrisy like George W. spending his life as the poster boy for cocaine and the party lifestyle and then doing a 180 a few years before he decides he wants to get into politics. Very convenient for him to have found God.

Well, enough ragging on the negative sides of that generation. There are a lot of people, the vast majority of the population that fall under this configuration, and for sure there are many great people and many who have used the bravery and sureness of Pluto in Leo to do amazing things. It’s just those few wankers who ruin it. But of course there are always wankers in every generation.

The Generation Y’ers are still coming into their own. Unfortunately, the Neptune in Sagittarius and Pluto in Libra combination is a hard one for personal (marriage type) relationships. Neptune in Sag wants to explore, go crazy, party, see the world, drink and generally over indulge and Pluto (which as I’ve stated is powerful transformative energy) wants to destroy, and the sign it’s in, Libra makes the aim partnerships, marriage, legal matters, injustice. On the good side of this, this generation has many strong activists for social change, those who are committed to changing the laws to make life equal for all (both Sag and Libra have legal implications.) On the negative side there is the Paris Hilton’s of this generation, who exemplifies the shadow side of this group of people.

The dark side of Gen-X is the extreme desire to be individual and the almost pathological need to be considered unique so much so that one is hard pressed to get someone in that generation to admit being part of a generation, which of course is absurd. I think many out grew this as they got older and reluctantly, and with much resentment, realized they were actually part of a group that could be “marketed to.” Other problems that I’ve seen among my peers are a feeling of hopelessness + powerlessness = apathy which is partially due to so much Virgo in Gen-X charts. Virgos have a tendency to feel small and of little value. We are the first generation to grow up mostly in single parent households (due to 50% divorce rates among our parents generation), having to adapt to radical changes in the roles of women and men. And the first generation to do worse than our parents generation did. We have often felt like outcasts and freaks, partially due to the inner turmoil between our conservative nature (we can be weirdly prudish and old-fashioned the Uranus/Pluto in Virgo) in opposition to the desire to wreak havoc (hence the Punk rock or Alternative music revolution embraced and continued by Pluto in Virgo). We want to shake things up and alternatively go forward at the same time, actually the music, literature and aesthetics of Steampunk pretty much sum up the conflicting weirdness of Gen-X people.

I focus a lot on Gen-X because not many astrologers have since we are a minor group, and difficult to understand from the outside in. We are the invisible children of the Me generation, the shadowed group that never really got a foothold as the Boomers extended their time in the work place, the group of kids left to raise themselves, fend for themselves in the face of declining jobs (since 1967) and many of us came into the career market as the first George Bush recession hit in the early 90s. Believe me I don’t think we have it the worst. We were and are a hallmark generation, the first truly modern generation bridging the gap between an America that protected its citizens from greedy corporations and stood on the side of labor, and equality and the wealthy pluto/corporatocracy we have now. We were just the first generation of people to go backwards – the beginning of the empire’s unraveling, back toward the standards of people who we were taught as children only existed in developing nations. By this I mean a health care system ranked 37th in the world below many developing nations. We are one step closer to indentured servitude and slavery each year as jobs continue to go overseas where labor is virtually free and we learn to live on the sort of money that seemed impossible 20 years ago to the Pluto in Leo generation. I know many people in their late 30s to mid 40s who are living off of about $600 a month in impossible places like the Bay Area. They live in abject poverty and can only pray they don’t get sick since they can’t afford care and apply to every job remotely related to anything they’ve done to no avail.

Let’s face it this is not a recession. It’s a depression. According to the most recent statistics 1 in 5 people is unemployed. That is 20% of the population, it was 25% during the Great Depression. Health care reform is not only imperative (and a moral obligation)  but so is throwing lobbyists out of Washington and actually  holding corporations to the same laws that we as human beings have to abide by.

Best wishes and happy holidays,

Denise

[Via http://astrologyandpsychicpredictions.wordpress.com]

عکس های پاریس هیلتون در فرش قرمز در لس آنجلس

عکس های پاریس هیلتون در فرش قرمز در لس آنجلس

[Via http://farsiclip.wordpress.com]

Paris does Copenhagen

You might have noticed over the past few years that I don’t react very well to people poorly informed about the environment.

 This has nothing to do with compassion deficiency for the stupids but an extreme intolerance to the harsh plastic and artificial people, the bastard politicians, or the religiously intolerant,  or the banker-wankers, or the short term financially insecure and the self  interested petrol-state leaders…   and few more A-holes.

You can now add to that list the assorted various A-list  Celebrities.

But the regular folks you run into at the green grocer’s, at the restaurants, the universities, the high street shops, our homes & offices, the hotels and bars – they should know better. At Christmas I become even more sympathetic to the sensitive issues of the Climate change and the environmental refugees and  third world citizens of failed states.

 I thought I was going to be done with the subject of emailgate when I concluded that Paris Hilton’s Christmas gift boob job was fighting the good and the great from the top spots in the American conscience and the world’s media culture of entertainment twitching.

Having come back from China recently – we focused on the real issues as the Chinese find untold amusement with the preoccupation of the US and western culture and Media… with the useless celebrities as they call them. They can’t understand how come that a golf club jockey (tiny number of people play the most boring game) can command the amount of attention and rewards he does. And when his wife wraps his golf clubs around his head because he sticks his putter where it shouldn’t be – who the hell cares.

The man is a tiger – he can wet his noodle in any kind of sweet and sour soup bowl he likes. He is a star after all. Right? 

When does he stop being a superhero celebrity and he becomes the douche bag of his little bewitched hysterical murderous wife?  And he carries on quietly being a human faced punchbag for her golf clubs?

Does this spot of domestic violence trumps Copenhagen?  

Sadly yes. In America.

What is this world coming to? When the rest of the world looks at the celebrities and their travesties – they fail to hear about things like the Climate Emergency. The 70% of Americans know all about Tiger and lippy pit bull but nothing about the Environment.  How come?

Part of it is the Fox News network mentality of the lowest common denominator. Focus people’s mind on entertainment and they will never rise up from the couch potato position to complain.  You can sell potato chips this way too. 

The errant American TV public has seen Paris Hilton  religious conversion and  penetration video but never have they seen Inconvenient Truth. 

They know all about Michael Jackson but nothing about the Ozone hole or the Greenhouse effects of global warming. They have seen Sarah Palin and may have bought her book – but do they know how to read it?

They like rogue but don’t know what it means.  So Murdoch reasons – If we feed them entertaining mental manure and they grow to be mushrooms – we can count on them to be flat Earthers when the climate or health issues come to the front and they may have to go out and vote.

Show them some celebrity skin and they’ll keep quiet and controlled. Who cares about climate change?  Keep the gas guzzlers running – Get me a Bud and keep the game running on the tube…  Any game will do.

Even golf.  We are not watching – we are hypnotized.

London’s bad enough for celebrity twitching, but that didn’t really get onto the topic of poorly covered news stories about the environment and the world coming together to address the issue.

The total collapse of news judgment last week when Tiger Woods’ run-in with a tree somehow became “breaking news”  few hours after the fact. I wasn’t particularly surprised that CNN had turned the story into a global something on par with the death of Michael Jackson and paris Hilton’s boob job extravaganza; but I was stunned that the BBC was even covering this, let alone burning up satellite time by chatting to some poor correspondent in Washington who seemed neither interested nor particularly well informed on the story. 

I dreamed last night that the Mexican cleaning staff in the newsrooms of CNN in Atlanta and the Colombian cleaning ladies of BBC in London; have taken over international news editing duties while also dusting computer screens and emptying the trash. When I woke up on Saturday morning and the Tiger Woods story was still a feature on the World Service and various other news outlets, I was convinced my dream was reality. 

The telenovela crowd now rules the Newsroom too. They sorted it all out. Tiger was disfigured by the sad and broken faithful wife that tried to drive a golf stick through his nostrils into his brain….  he tried to escape for medical attention for his nose bleed and clipped the tree with his car. The dutiful wife came over to bang hi some more till he is free from his mortal coil.  End of story. And repeat, repeat and repeat again – ad nauseam.

In media Res  -  you could hear about the top world’s story. The golfer who was wearing his golf clubs… on the head.

I am losing faith – Maybe we aren’t meant to survive as a species after all…   

Later that afternoon, as the rain kicked in and darkness fell along the High Street, I popped into my favourite cafe to have a strong bitter coffee and see some friends and talk with strangers who wanted to interview me…

But what was on my mind was the display tables full of holiday sweets and consumer cheer. I saw the music CDs and books and chocolates and liqueur and then i saw the tiny golf clubs. Golf set with clubs and balls and bag and even a bit of green – sans the little golfer doll.  

Enough is enough I said.

And then was almost blown off my feet. I could sense that something was a little bit off even before I crossed the threshold to the private part of the cafe, but I couldn’t quite detect the presence except everyone was overly animated.  While trying hard to remain nonchalant. As I looked for a new face in the usual crowd, perhaps one of the best people in the world started to smile with a bit of a squint at me and I felt dizzy. Her whites made me dizzy but her boobs were unmistakable. They were new, firm and fabulous.  The best boobs money can buy….

My mammalian brain was exploding in overload.

Paris had shown up to talk about the environment. She wants to be involved.

She wants to ”be in Copenhagen and be well informed and force climate change” (her words)…

That’s it.

Now we are in real trouble…

Copenhagen here we come.

Yes.

She will come along.

Lord have Mercy…

Yours,

Pano

PS: 

Now if Tiger shows up with the wife ‘embedded’ putter sticking out of his head – we’ll be sure to get a good deal in Copenhagen – with all the good Americans watching the news and feeling sympathy for his personal climate.

Maybe that ”illegal video” of paris and Tiger doing the hokey pokey together will show up in Copenhagen and then we’ll get it all sorted. 

What climate?   

Whose wood is that? 

A seven iron it seems.

Please; Let me in – Entertainment Rocks.

[Via http://panokroko.wordpress.com]

Why do people think Fur/Animal Skin looks Hot??

Ohhhkay dudes and dudettes !!
I guess all of you should know that animal skin OR fur from no angle looks HAWT!(as you guys seem to put it).
It’s just stupid cruelty towards the poor animals who don’t even HARM us from any source !
Do any of us any bother to even google such enviromental topics?
NO!
’cause we are to busy facebooking our crush,bestiie or keeping and eye on our enemy!(we even might be socially interviewing ourselves)
P.s: Trust me I was one on the ‘US’ a few months ago!(even though I STILL socially interview myself )

So my point!
Animal Fur!
yeah just because the -stooopidd and BLONDE -Paris Hilton wears a piece of it doesn’t mean that it becomes fashion!
Seriously , trust me!!
31 million animals ACTUALLY die because of this LAME animal farming occupation!!
And it’s so cruel!
Just because the poor things can’t speak doesn’t mean that they don’t have feelings!
After all they are also living things!
*sob*
They are the ones who balance the eco-system ! (Shit!I am actually using my social studies-side of brain over here )

I guess it’s really devastating to know that crazy low-lives actually enjoy such crap and call it CUTE!!
*bums*

Anyways Post your views on this!

toodles!!
That’s it for now!!

Dishipo0o0o….
Keep you updated always!
♥

P.s:I Got more inspired by this because of my sweetheart!!

AKA
Pragya Gianani!!

[Via http://musicalworm.wordpress.com]

Branding The Real(ity) You

As markets become more and more saturated, it is important to brand yourself as an individual. Emerging new technologies, social media tools, the current job market and reality television are all forces bringing people closer together in a survival of the fittest.

Examples of successful personal branding includes pioneers like Karl Lagerfeld, Anna Wintour and Paris Hilton. These people are more than designers, editors and socialites: they are brands. @LakiaGordon explains, “make sure your everyday appearance is reflective of your brand. Promote your passion daily because you never know who you’ll meet.”

It’s also crucial to surround yourself with similar brands and people to help drive your identity. @derville shares her advice, “establish a niche area of specialization. Follow and interact with others in that niche area. Blog and tweet about your area.”

Lastly, give people something tangible like industry news, images, product, or a portfolio of work. @adamstahr shares,  “when branding yourself, don’t underestimate the importance of a body of work. Be a doer, not merely a thinker and talker.”

Incorporating these practices into daily life will create your personal brand and place you in the forefront of your niche. What other ways do you brand yourself?

photos from davidonoue.com, CuteCarry.wordpress.com , Lexposure.net

[Via http://consumingpr.com]

Quatchi scores himself a Hilton.

It’s OFFICIAL.

Paris Hilton has now fu*ked around with every living thing on the Planet.

I hope Quatchi had a bottle of One Step on him.

 Princess P was in Whistler at the INVITATION of some rich dude, Doug stayed in LA most likely afraid that he would freeze in his frilly PINK tutu.

 

 

 

[Via http://jennelala.wordpress.com]