You might have noticed over the past few years that I don’t react very well to people poorly informed about the environment.
This has nothing to do with compassion deficiency for the stupids but an extreme intolerance to the harsh plastic and artificial people, the bastard politicians, or the religiously intolerant, or the banker-wankers, or the short term financially insecure and the self interested petrol-state leaders… and few more A-holes.
You can now add to that list the assorted various A-list Celebrities.
But the regular folks you run into at the green grocer’s, at the restaurants, the universities, the high street shops, our homes & offices, the hotels and bars – they should know better. At Christmas I become even more sympathetic to the sensitive issues of the Climate change and the environmental refugees and third world citizens of failed states.
I thought I was going to be done with the subject of emailgate when I concluded that Paris Hilton’s Christmas gift boob job was fighting the good and the great from the top spots in the American conscience and the world’s media culture of entertainment twitching.
Having come back from China recently – we focused on the real issues as the Chinese find untold amusement with the preoccupation of the US and western culture and Media… with the useless celebrities as they call them. They can’t understand how come that a golf club jockey (tiny number of people play the most boring game) can command the amount of attention and rewards he does. And when his wife wraps his golf clubs around his head because he sticks his putter where it shouldn’t be – who the hell cares.
The man is a tiger – he can wet his noodle in any kind of sweet and sour soup bowl he likes. He is a star after all. Right?
When does he stop being a superhero celebrity and he becomes the douche bag of his little bewitched hysterical murderous wife? And he carries on quietly being a human faced punchbag for her golf clubs?
Does this spot of domestic violence trumps Copenhagen?
Sadly yes. In America.
What is this world coming to? When the rest of the world looks at the celebrities and their travesties – they fail to hear about things like the Climate Emergency. The 70% of Americans know all about Tiger and lippy pit bull but nothing about the Environment. How come?
Part of it is the Fox News network mentality of the lowest common denominator. Focus people’s mind on entertainment and they will never rise up from the couch potato position to complain. You can sell potato chips this way too.
The errant American TV public has seen Paris Hilton religious conversion and penetration video but never have they seen Inconvenient Truth.
They know all about Michael Jackson but nothing about the Ozone hole or the Greenhouse effects of global warming. They have seen Sarah Palin and may have bought her book – but do they know how to read it?
They like rogue but don’t know what it means. So Murdoch reasons – If we feed them entertaining mental manure and they grow to be mushrooms – we can count on them to be flat Earthers when the climate or health issues come to the front and they may have to go out and vote.
Show them some celebrity skin and they’ll keep quiet and controlled. Who cares about climate change? Keep the gas guzzlers running – Get me a Bud and keep the game running on the tube… Any game will do.
Even golf. We are not watching – we are hypnotized.
London’s bad enough for celebrity twitching, but that didn’t really get onto the topic of poorly covered news stories about the environment and the world coming together to address the issue.
The total collapse of news judgment last week when Tiger Woods’ run-in with a tree somehow became “breaking news” few hours after the fact. I wasn’t particularly surprised that CNN had turned the story into a global something on par with the death of Michael Jackson and paris Hilton’s boob job extravaganza; but I was stunned that the BBC was even covering this, let alone burning up satellite time by chatting to some poor correspondent in Washington who seemed neither interested nor particularly well informed on the story.
I dreamed last night that the Mexican cleaning staff in the newsrooms of CNN in Atlanta and the Colombian cleaning ladies of BBC in London; have taken over international news editing duties while also dusting computer screens and emptying the trash. When I woke up on Saturday morning and the Tiger Woods story was still a feature on the World Service and various other news outlets, I was convinced my dream was reality.
The telenovela crowd now rules the Newsroom too. They sorted it all out. Tiger was disfigured by the sad and broken faithful wife that tried to drive a golf stick through his nostrils into his brain…. he tried to escape for medical attention for his nose bleed and clipped the tree with his car. The dutiful wife came over to bang hi some more till he is free from his mortal coil. End of story. And repeat, repeat and repeat again – ad nauseam.
In media Res - you could hear about the top world’s story. The golfer who was wearing his golf clubs… on the head.
I am losing faith – Maybe we aren’t meant to survive as a species after all…
Later that afternoon, as the rain kicked in and darkness fell along the High Street, I popped into my favourite cafe to have a strong bitter coffee and see some friends and talk with strangers who wanted to interview me…
But what was on my mind was the display tables full of holiday sweets and consumer cheer. I saw the music CDs and books and chocolates and liqueur and then i saw the tiny golf clubs. Golf set with clubs and balls and bag and even a bit of green – sans the little golfer doll.
Enough is enough I said.
And then was almost blown off my feet. I could sense that something was a little bit off even before I crossed the threshold to the private part of the cafe, but I couldn’t quite detect the presence except everyone was overly animated. While trying hard to remain nonchalant. As I looked for a new face in the usual crowd, perhaps one of the best people in the world started to smile with a bit of a squint at me and I felt dizzy. Her whites made me dizzy but her boobs were unmistakable. They were new, firm and fabulous. The best boobs money can buy….
My mammalian brain was exploding in overload.
Paris had shown up to talk about the environment. She wants to be involved.
She wants to ”be in Copenhagen and be well informed and force climate change” (her words)…
That’s it.
Now we are in real trouble…
Copenhagen here we come.
Yes.
She will come along.
Lord have Mercy…
Yours,
Pano
PS:
Now if Tiger shows up with the wife ‘embedded’ putter sticking out of his head – we’ll be sure to get a good deal in Copenhagen – with all the good Americans watching the news and feeling sympathy for his personal climate.
Maybe that ”illegal video” of paris and Tiger doing the hokey pokey together will show up in Copenhagen and then we’ll get it all sorted.
What climate?
Whose wood is that?
A seven iron it seems.
Please; Let me in – Entertainment Rocks.
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